Reading: John 9:1-41 A blind man wanders into an all-girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bar immediately falls silent. In a very deep, husky voice, […]
Scripture John 4: 8-42 Jan Savory The gospel reading we listened to today has Jesus returning to Galilee. While traveling through Samaria, he strikes up a conversation with a local woman. She is surprised, because normally Jews do not speak to Samaritans, and especially Jewish men do not speak to Samaritan women. Once Upon a […]
Readings: Genesis 2:15-17; Matthew 4:1-11 A bartender notices that every evening, without fail, one of his patrons orders three beers. After several weeks of noticing this pattern, the bartender asks the man why he always orders three beers. The man says, “I have two brothers who have moved away to different countries. We promised each […]
Readings: Exodus 24:12-18; Matthew 17:1-9 The preacher’s 5 year-old daughter noticed that her preacher father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day she asked him why. “Well, Honey,” he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages, “I’m asking the Lord to help me […]
Scripture: Deuteronomy 30:15-20 and Matthew 5:21-37 Jan Savory In today’s OT reading from Deuteronomy, the Israelites are perched at the edge of the Promised Land listening to Moses, who has been delivering speeches for what amounts to thirty chapters. Throughout the book of Deuteronomy, he has reiterated the stipulations of the law, including frequent […]
Reading: Matthew 5:13-20 An Inspiring Sermon? During a fired-up sermon, the spirit impressed a great illustration on a local pastor. He said, “Our church needs to get back to the basics. We need to become like a babe, and learn to get up on our hands and knees and crawl like we’ve never CRAWLED […]
Reading: Matthew 5:1-12 At Sunday School they were learning how God created everything, including human beings. Johnny was especially intent when the teacher told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, “Johnny, what is […]
Reading: John 1:29-42 Test of Strength The strongman at a circus squeezed the juice from a lemon between his hands. He then said to the audience, “I will offer $200 to anyone in the audience who can squeeze another drop from this lemon. A thin scholarly looking woman came forward, picked up the lemon, strained […]
Reading: Matthew 2:1-12 A Miraculous Pregnancy? A mom takes her daughter to the doctor. The doctor says, “Okay, what seems to be the problem?” The mother says, “It’s my daughter Sally. She keeps getting these cravings, she’s putting on weight and is sick most mornings.” The doctor gives Sally a good examination, and then turns […]
Readings: Philippians 2:5-11; Luke 2:15-21 Being in a country parish like this one reminds me of an old joke about a church that was having trouble with mice. They’d tried repellents, they’d tried poisons, they’d hired pest control companies, all to no avail. A deacon finally suggests baptizing them. “That way,” he says, “they’ll only […]